Friday, 16 October 2009

Safest taxi driver in the whole of Hong Kong

The first taxi man was your average arse hole - short fused and didn't know where the fuck we wanted to go... "Its something like Lang Kfwang FOng Chwong Foo" It was followed by the usual argument - taxi man Vs genie on how much to pay, the language barrier made it all the more interesting

the locals rave on the streets outside the bars and clubs and purchase their liquor from Seven Eleven, the Hong Kong OMCO. This has an added advantage of socialising with music without added bar costs.

Some ugly Liverpudlian with an abnormally sweaty face "Can i get you a drink." Walked into Seven Eleven and bought us a few cans - skanky bellend

... After a small blast of techno we made our way back to the converted toilet with some Singapore boys ..

Hailed down a taxi...

But this Taxi man was out right, the coolest taxi man to ever grace the planet

Not like the arse holes in Selly Oak we usually short change or clip clop away without paying. He didn't smell, have a cheeky perv, get his mates to rob our house, child lock us in his car or take us the 'long way' round.

He raved - He laughed - he gave us his Mix CD and he lit up a splif ... what a ledged - The knowledge of DJ GFUNK was born.

Have a nosey

Wednesday, 7 October 2009

Hong Kong- Massage at Chung King Mansions

So we rocked up at the hostel to discover they forgot we were coming. They had no space left, so they took us to some Indian family’s apartment and put us in a room resembling a scene out of Saw. You could hear rats running through the air events in the walls and ceiling. The toilet didn’t flush and the hose coming out of it was our shower...

So what do we do in such dyer situations?
Laugh, get shit faced and down some sleeping pills..

So we left the windowless pit aka converted bathroom, smelling of curry, Indian BO and aeroplane in search of booze and Cantonese cock. We befriended a variety of travellers, although none would dare come back to our hostel.

Eventually we were propositioned!!!

On Return to the converted toilet, in a lift that smelt like Bombay aloo a massage boy bragged about giving western girls incredible massages. Offering us “very good deal, very good deal” we politely refused... Sensing our lack of interest he made us a special deal “especially for you two, for free!” as tempting as it was, we declined the offer s.
Then he begged to PAY US for his services, whilst holding his own blanket trying to bombard his way into our converted toilet....

We still declined....

We later discovered Chung King mansion is renowned for being one of the worst hostels in Asia.... genie error Type 1!